G.I. JOE and 7-Eleven Want You To Suck Down “Liquid Artillery”

In what is perhaps one of the most ill-advised drink names in recent memory, “GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra” and 7-Eleven have teamed up to bring folks a new slurpee flavor called (and I wish I was making this up) “Liquid Artillery”.  Apparently,”Piss Rifle”, “Electric Jism”, and “Ipecac” were already taken.  Also, the convenience marts will offer “GO JOE” Cappuccino because nothing says I’m a mature coffee drinker like slapping “Go Joe” on your beverage.

In a comment that I pray was uttered through gritted teeth, Jay Wilkins, 7-Eleven brand manager for cold beverages, had this to say: “G.I. JOE is probably the best-known boy’s toy in the world.* The movie has a ready-made audience of boys and men who played with G.I. JOE, and we want to bring back some of those great childhood memories by promoting ‘G. I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra’ with a great, new Slurpee drink, fun cups and straws.” Yes, because nothing says “I am a man” quite like “fun cups and straws”.

Check out images of what men drink their “Liquid Artillery” from after the jump.  “G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra” hits theatres on August 7th.

*Other than Legos and Fleshlights.