The artwork on the back of the DVD box alone made me nut. This is some crazy stuff, folks. There’s some rather graphic third input right on the back, which kind of surprised me. That pretty much sums up my feelings in general about Bryn Pryor’s Mythology... raunchy third input, utter surprise, and nutting as I crossed the living room floor to put the disc in the player. Thank God for Kleenex.
Bryn Pryor, the writer of this feature, has been very busy in the adult entertainment industry from what I gather. He’s a guy who knows this business inside and out and in every available orifice. And it’s this kind of knowledge that puts him at the top of his game. Eli Cross directs his ass off with this feature. There’s a fierce, take no prisoners quality to his work here and I was a little taken aback by it. His sex scenes are propelled forward with a ruthlessness that needs to be seen to be believed.
But what's the film all about, you might ask. Well, here’s the official word from Vivid...
The gods must be horny. An intimate dinner, a pretty young couple. Diana and Ray. As they talk, Diana tells Ray stories of the gods and goddesses from ancient mythology as if each were alive today. She tells him of Hephaestus, the blacksmith with his captive wives, Aphrodite and Athena. She tells him of Sappho, and her lust for women, of Hippolyta from the library of Alexandria. Ray finds it funny that she speaks as if she knows these characters herself. Diana explains that all stories, all myths, all legends, are true, and the fact that people no longer believe in these gods and goddesses doesn't mean they no longer exist. Ray laughs, until Diana proves to him that he is one of the gods, one who has simply forgotten.
Is this what the movie is really about? Sure, I guess technically the description is accurate. But you really have to use your imagination a great deal to sell yourself on this whole concept. It’s kind of like the golden years of radio in that respect. I’m guessing porno movies usually don’t have much in the budget for special effects, so they have to just make do and hope we never call ‘em on it. I’d say this movie is more about people fucking in ordinary household rooms than it is about “the gods.” It’s kind of like Clash of the Titans, but instead of Lawrence Olivier, there’s anal. But then again I was beating off quite vigorously through most of it so my judgment might have been a bit screwy.
There are some truly exotic settings for a couple of the sex scenes, however. A dude does two chicks (one of them is in bizarre punk makeup) in what looks like a dark torture chamber. Or it could just be a basement somewhere in Van Nuys. This scene satisfies a fantasy of mine, which is to keep a few women locked in cages under my house. It would all be consensual, of course. But I’d probably get a tattoo of a flaming skull right above my cock and make the girls all call me Bruno. There’s also a lesbian scene in a smoky white room. I thought this was a pretty tasteful scene, despite all the pussy slapping and finger banging. But it’s a soft, tender scene. It’s the sort of thing you could show to your mother and she’d probably say it was cute.
All this is fine and good, but the real prize goes to Trina Michaels, who gets banged by two dudes and takes it from both ends. This girl earns her pay and even gives it that little bit extra. I’ve never seen anybody work this hard. Manual labor looks easier. This is where the image from the back of the DVD box that made me nut comes from. This is an alarming anal sequence, and I’ve seen more than my share. Once they really get going, if you close your eyes and just listen to them moaning, it sounds a lot like the sex scene from The Texas Chain Saw Massacre Part 2 in which Leatherface gets his freak on. And if you’re not sure where I’m coming from, that was meant as a compliment. This is awesome. It just goes on, and on, and on. It’s an endurance test for the meek and a depraved reward for true deviant fans.
The final scene is the icing on the cake... the one I was waiting for the entire picture. Monique Alexander, the alluring star of the film, finally disrobes and gets down and dirty. The scene is an extremely welcomed one. She appears throughout the entire film, but doesn’t actually give us the goods until the very end. It’s an elegant scene and Monique is the reason. She’s a stunning beauty who moves with grace and poise. If the rest of the movie is fucking, then this is the love. It’s a gentle cushion that ends the ride and thanks you for taking the erotic journey. But don’t get me wrong, it’s nasty when it needs to be. The final shot is a puddle of ejaculate on Monique’s butt cheeks. It’s a true standout.
EXTRAS / THE FINAL WORD
As I said in the last review, the ‘position room’ is the gravy of the DVD. It’s a giant pool of dark steaming juice in the middle of a mound of mashed potatoes on Thanksgiving day. I can’t tell you how happy I am that we have the ability to jump to a specific sex act at will. It’s like having my own private Salo. I get to kick back, eat Hostess HoHos and down Red Bulls while young beautiful people perform the sex act of my desire. If you’re a “doggie” guy, you just click right to it and they all play in a row. Who could ask for more?
In closing, I want to thank the whole team at Collider again for giving me this golden opportunity in the Vivid section. I saw they were setting up a section entirely devoted to porn, and after reading just a couple articles I knew this was for me. I’m an irrefutable porn aficionado and it’s a real kick to actually be doing DVD reviews here at this emerging entertainment website.
Click below to read other great Vivid/Collider interviews and DVD reviews...
Also, I had to remove the direct link to Gil's Private Stash. Sorry for any
inconvenience, but it's the new rule. Just go here http://christianconservative.blogspot.com/ (a wholsome conservative Christian blog) then replace the "christianconservative" with "gilsprivatestash" (a not-so wholsome conservative Christian blog).
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