You know, you get busy, you maybe don’t get as much sleep as you should, you doze off at inappropriate moments, and then you try and catch up on the week’s big new releases…and things just get a bit muddled.  With that in mind, I may have just seen one of worst action/romantic comedy hybrids ever made, or the most unique pre-summer blockbuster picture to come along in ages.

No matter what, the storyline is unconventional.  See, there’s this wealthy playboy named Tony Stark, and he doesn’t seem to care that the weapons he designs are used in dirty wars all over the world.  So, he’s off selling his latest high-tech killing devices in Afghanistan, when he is kidnapped by an old female friend whom he has always secretly had a thing for, and even though she’s engaged to a guy he can’t stand, she persuades him to be in her wedding party—as the maid of honor!

Well, this gender-bending proposition throws Tony into a tizzy, and to overcompensate for his feelings of sexual inadequacy, he agrees to be the maid of honor for his unrequited love as long as he can wear a high tech titanium suit outfitted with the latest in war-making gadgetry that effectively turns him into a human weapon of mass destruction.  Needless to say, this leads to a lot of misunderstandings in the run-up to the bride’s big day.  For example, in one particularly amusing scene, Tony tries to come to terms with his long-held feelings for the woman he loves by taking her to Afghanistan and showing her how easily he can defeat a group of insurgents on her behalf using the gizmos he himself designed.

Needless to say, jokes aplenty go flying as Tony attends the rehearsal dinner in his alloy suit.  By the time the seventh guest at the rehearsal dinner said some variation on “a hard man is good to find” while rapping their knuckles on Tony’s armor, I was in stitches.  And, in a touching scene, one does not know whether to laugh or cry when Tony accidentally launches a wrist rocket that blows a cavernous hole into the face of the bride’s father.  (Parents: it’s shot at an angle, so it’s still PG-13; bring the kids!)

The less I give away about the big finish (when Tony tries to get on horseback while in full Iron Man get-up and eventually crashes into a table full of eggplant parmesan- filled chafing dishes at the reception) the better.  It is practically avant-garde in its genre-busting uniqueness.

Now, there is a chance that no one else out there saw this movie.  Like I said, the rigors of entertainment writing can sometimes be taxing, and the resulting half-dream state may account for a lot here.  But if anyone else did catch Iron Made Of Honor, maybe they could tell me why it also involved mixed martial arts and something called a “Redbelt”?

James Napoli is an author and humorist who has also written and directed the award winning dramatic shorts “The Priests” and “Nobody Gets Hurt.”   He is a graduate of the London Film School. 

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