Reviewed by Hunters Daniels

“Lovecracked: The Movie” is an odd chimera of a film. Made as a series of shorts loosely strung together by interstitial mockumentary footage and connected by the theme of ripping off/paying homage too H.P. Lovecraft, Lovecracked plays like a mix between Creepshow and behind the music.

The film is uneven, sporadically hilarious and occasionally creepy, but rarely both. The shorts occasionally dovetail into each other like in The Mr. Show but otherwise, the film plays as a series of sketches. And as is the case with all sketch movies, without a through line it becomes increasingly hard to care.

The benefit of a skit based film is that if you are bored by what you see on screen at any one moment, you only have to endure it for a few more minutes before something different and hopefully more palatable appears. However, it is a double edged sword, for without a strong story to follow, and audience’s attention span tends to wander.

Take for example the Python films—which Lovecracked seems quiet intent on aping. Of the three films the Flying Circus produced, it is generally agreed that the strongest is Holy Grail. Life of Brian is far more cutting, and Meaning of Life has the best sketches, but Holy Grail has characters and a clear plot line to follow. Most skit films however, do not. This is their downfall, and such is the case with Lovecracked.

This is not to say that the film is without value. Some of the shorts are absolutely sublime. There is the disgusting and ingenious “Bugboy” (by Tomas Almgren) which tells a story akin to The Fly meets Kafka, only somehow more gross. "Remain" (by Ashley Thorpe) which features some eye popping practical special effects. "Alecto" (by Simon Ruben) which is miles above everything else in production, visuals, artistry and sound design, and "Chaos of Flesh" (by Grady Granros) which manages to be legitimately scary.

Some of the shorts however, fall absolutely flat. “History of the Lurkers” for example, is both incoherent and migraine inducing.

Others are just boring and predictable. "Witch's Spring" (by Brian Barnes) is probably the worst offender, meandering through a standard fair vampire seduction yarn with the pay off being the worst fake heart seen on film since Adam Sandler’s Mangum-Dopus “Click.” And it doesn’t help matters much that the mockumentary footage is only occasionally amusing. Though, to its’ credit, when it does hit the mark, like in scenes featuring Loyd Kaufman and the supposition that Lovecraft was raised by aliens, it is quiet funny.

Then there is the matter of the films penultimate skit, titled, “Re-Penetrator" (by Doug Sakmann), starring none other than internet porn pseudo-star, Joanna Angel who’s personal website boasts one video that claims “Anal sex has never been more romantic,” indeed.

Yes, there is hardcore pornography to be found towards the end of this feature. Frustratingly, it is also the films least full filling sequence. “Re-Penetrator” is a take off Lovecraft’s most popular film adaptation, Re-animator. Only, here, Herbert West has concocted a serum that makes the undead crave, well, sex. Needless to say, the giant turkey baster of a needle doesn’t go into the she-zombie’s arm.

Angel is quiet comely, even covered in green makeup, but the sequence has been cut down. Sure, there is full frontal nudity, and copious thrusting, but through the magic of editing, this sequence becomes about as erotic as the R rated Deep Throat part II.

The inclusion of the scene is down right confusing. Why include porno and boast about it on the box, and then cut said scene into oblivion. There is literally not one image of any type of penetration in “Re-Penetrator.” In one shot, Angel fellates the doctor, but his strategically placed arm blocks the focal point of the action.

Does this make the scene (a literal torture-porn) less demeaning towards women? Certainly not. Does it make the entire exercise utterly pointless? Absolutely!

What is frustrating about this is, there are a few deleted segments included with the DVD, all of which are better than “Re-Penatrator” and 2 of which are better than the majority of the film’s included sequences.

This that saves the project. The DVD is absolutely jam packed. There are extra segments and Easter Eggs galore. In fact, the best material on the DVD is not the feature film. Several earlier works by the films credited director, going by the single moniker “Elias,” appear. They are gross, gory, gratuitous and uproarious in equal measure. The highlight being a hidden short film from 1996 depicting the exploits of the director as God instructs him to eat his first Twinkie. The “adventure kept me watching wide eyed for a full 25 minutes, with only 3 cuts.

Lovecracked: The Movie is not a strong film. But I can’t bring myself to dislike it. I’ve had it for a little bit now, and I find myself periodically popping it into my DVD player just to watch one or two of the segments, and on that front, it is successful. There are some real beauties here. Also, the voluminous extras make this feature one worth at least a rental on DVD. It’s not the second coming of Independent cinema, but if you’re hanging out with some friends and want a few laughs and some decent gore, you could do far, far worse.

Film: 6.5/10

DVD: 8/10