Four kids get selected Golden Ticket Style to go to a Willy Wonka-surrogate (played by Crispin Glover, who likely would have made a better Wonka than Depp). He treats them like stars of Hostel until they end up in a closet and in The Lion, The Witch and the Lord of the Rings films. There’s a Faun, some Nacho Libre jokes,  a wicked ice princess played by Jennifer Coolidge, a Lion King played by Fred Willard, a Jack Sparrow parody from Darrell Hammond that goes to rip off Lazy Sunday in a way that bespeaks complete and utter creative bankruptcy.

The film is mercifully short, and the unrated version features two topless women. But it lacks many real jokes (there’s a good bit about MTV Cribs and the people on it who love Scarface), otherwise, it’s all jokes that are essentially the reference, and people being knocked fifty feet in the air. This is the rice cakes of comedy. There’s literally a guy repeating something about snakes on a plane that is almost a joke about how the internet put a line in the film, but that’s the joke.

Twentieth Century Fox presents an unrated cut in anamorphic widescreen (1.78:1) and in 5. 1 surround. The directors provide a commentary and a fart track, but they don’t have the emotional breakdown they had in their Date Movie commentary. There’s also a beaver icon… for the “How Tasteful” pop-up feature that shows more footage of the film’s ogled women. Then there’s outtakes (4 min), an alternate ending (2 min.). “Everyone Loves Beaver: Epic Hook Ups” (4 min) is an attempt at improve comedy by the stars. It’s less funny than the movie. “Making the Video: Lazy Pirate Day” (10 min.) tries to evoke a sense of the work that went into something so obvious. “Epic Porn – What Would Your Porno Movie Be Called?” (2 min) “Hot or Not: Character Turn Ons and Offs” (2 min.) and “What Makes Aslo so Sexy” (2 min) try to be funny. Fail. “Making of a Spoof” (7 min) is an EPK, while “In Character with Fred Willard” (10 min) is exactly what is sounds like, there’s  “Die Liebre” (3 min) a viral video for the movie, and a bonus trailer. I hated this movie. But not enough to really Hate it, hate it.