The irony of a French film about a tough guy who goes around kicking everyone’s ass and taking all comers should be lost on no one.  I suppose there is some reality infused by at least making the ass-kicker in question a non-native Frenchman.  The film in question is the third installment in the popular Transporter series: the aptly, if not cleverly, titled Transporter 3.  Yes, Jason Statham is back as Frank Martin, the tough as nails badass who drives better than Michael Knight, who fights better than Kane from Kung Fu, and who manages to get topless like those young ladies in the Girls Gone Wild videos.  This time, he has to uh, drive fast … kick ass, and … uh, stop the bad guy?

Okay, so the Transporter film franchise is not known for its originality.  Never the less, sticking to formula has allowed the modestly budgeted (for an action film) series to gross over 230 million dollars worldwide.  The third installment sees Frank once again breaking his rules, as he is thrust into a situation beyond his control.  Francois Berleand once again returns as Inspector Tarconi, who like his obvious prototype Captain Renault from Casablanca, seems to spend as much time colluding with criminals as investigating crimes.  Statham and Bereleand have an obvious chemistry that once again works well.  The two are joined by Natalya Rudakova as Valentina Frank’s love interest/damsel in distress, and Prison break’s Robert Knepper as the Villanous Johnson who is painted as Frank’s dark opposite. 

The plot resolves around chase scenes, explosions, and Frank inexplicably removing his shirt to fight various henchmen.  This time around, the screenwriters behind the other two films: Luc Besson and Robert Mark Kamen, have added the additional ripple that Frank cannot get too far from the car or he will explode.  While this does lead to some fun sequences, the plot device is rarely explored fully, and more importantly not really explained adequately.  (As to why the villain thinks it’s necessary.)  Also, as opposed to in the other two installments, Frank’s romance with Valentina is openly expressed.  Another device that is neither really explored, nor is it explained.

Now, if you think I’m one of those guys that needs logic and sense imposed upon my action films, you have gotten it all wrong.  In addition, if you think I’m the type that hates formulaic films, you have likewise misconstrued reality.  I love formula in my films, and I need little logic if I’m distracted.  It’s only when you slow down long enough for me to think that I am able to see the gaping holes in both plot and character.  In straying from the ass kicking, fast driving, unexpressed sexual tension from the first two films the filmmakers have misstepped.  Forcing a love story onto the simple skeleton makes for long stretches of plodding dialogue that allow the scripts flaws to show through more clearly.  Still, director Oliver Megaton (with an incredibly cool name for an action director) handles the stylish action well, and turns in a fun, if flawed film.

Video/Audio/Extras

Billed as the “Two Disc Fully Loaded Edition”, all the actual special features are located on disc one along with the film itself.  The second disc is reserved for the now popular digital copy that can be uploaded to your computer for viewing on your ipod or cell.  Why anyone would view a film all about spectacle on a screen smaller than those in Barbie’s Dream House is beyond me.  Can we take a minute to discuss this?  Seriously?!? Who is watching films on their ipods?  The Smurfs?  The fact that I am now being forced to shell out more of my hard earned money for this “bonus feature” really grinds my gears.  The other special features fall into the more tried and true DVD Extras category.

The Audio Commentary Track features only the director Megaton. (Seriously, you don’t think that name is badass?)  His thick accent makes deciphering him a little difficult.  Though, I’m not sure this is the kind of film where you need to know the filmmaker’s true intent behind every scene…

The uninspiringly titled Making of Transporter 3 Featurette, gives a more decipherable account of filming, featuring interviews with Megaton and others.  Megaton mentions the “small time” they had in prepping and shooting this film.  This thread runs through every single behind the scenes special feature, almost as if the director is apologizing.  It is standard, but if you want to know about, uh… behind the scenes stuff, this short featurette is for you.

Three featurettes take a more specialized look behind the scenes.

Storyboard Compare takes a look at how, in the once again mentioned short time he was given, the script changed from concept to screen.  An intriguing train sequence was cut due to budget and time constraints.  The best part though is the title: Storyboard Compare?  You have to love a DVD extra that has an accent.

The Sets delves into the production design of the film.  As the director came from a background in painting he apparently paid special attention to the look of the sets, even though he was given little time to do so.  No really, he mentions it in every special feature.

Visual Effects focuses on a train sequence that actually made it into the final film.  Sadly, if you had any illusion that the stunts in the film were real, this will dispel that notion.  Director Megaton (That’s it, I’m changing my name.) once again mentions the short time they had to produce the finished product.

Ironically again, they are French after all, the featurette that at first glance looks the most added-at-the-last-minute, Special Delivery: Transporters in Real Life, is by far the best.  SD:TIRL takes a look at real life transporters, or at least those who operate on the lawful side of things.  Interviews with current security specialists, former secret service agents, and former Special Forces soldiers, examine how transporting/protecting dignitaries has changed in our post 9-11 world. While the interviewees do weigh in on the relative lack of reality in the Transporter franchises, they mostly discuss how frightening it is out there in foreign countries.  It’s more compelling than you’d initially expect.

Summary

If you are looking for cerebral entertainment, you should obviously look elsewhere.  Likewise, if you are looking for a film that fires on all cylinders like the first entry into this franchise, you will be disappointed.  If however, you just want to watch a decent film with damn likeable actors, and you have about one and three quarter hours to kill, you could check out worse films.  B

As for the special features, most are adequate if uninspired. Only Special Delivery: Transporters in Real Life is truly intriguing.  And don’t even get me started on the second disc… Not bad, but not great. B minus