Welcome to the box office's final weekend of summer… Labor Day Weekend - or as I like to call it the big studio cluster fuck of crap.

This was the last chance the majors had to get in on some of that disposable summer income before the prestige pics of fall and winter start rolling out. Therefore we, the theatre-going public, are treated to gems like "Babylon AD" (Vin Diesel in his best performance since "Find Me Guilty"!!) and "Disaster Movie" (Carmen Electra in her best performance since "Carmen Electra's Aerobic Striptease"!!) along with a host of mediocre holdovers like "The House Bunny" and "Death Race."

So when faced with the choice of patronizing a big, actiony, sc-fi flick whose own director admits is beyond terrible (that would be "Babylon AD") or another series of weak box-office jokes hosted by Vanessa Minillo (I'm talking "Disaster Movie," although I would have also accepted "TRL" as an answer) what did ticket-buyers choose? They chose to see "Tropic Thunder" for the third time and "The Dark Knight" for… I'll say the tenth.

I don't usually have much faith in the intelligence of the American media consumer, but in this case I think they made the right call. What better way to eek out the last bit of summer than to go see a movie you first saw when the season was still fresh? In this way Batman finally nosed past the 500 million mark on Sunday - on its way to a final tally of about 540 mil by the time its reign is complete. Beating out "Titanic" now seems unlikely – unless one of the "Dark" cast can mange to scare up a late round of media buzz. Isn't Bale due in a London court in September? Perhaps he could hit the judge AND his mother this time! Or maybe Michael Caine could get caught rolling his car with his mistress in the passenger seat - oh wait, I think Morgan Freeman already tried that one and it didn't seem to make much of a difference… box-office wise.

The diminished field of competition also helped the Ben Stiller comedy "Tropic Thunder" stay on top for its third straight week for a total take of almost 84 million, which must be some consolation for that pic's fictional director/land-mine victim Steve Coogan. The British comedian was hoping his other wide-release, "Hamlet 2," would be joining "Tropic" in the upper reaches of this weekend's chart – but after an embarrassing first week in limited release "Hamlet 2" could only manage to pull in about 1.7 million in ticket sales from about 1,600 theatres. This is bad news for studio execs, considering that "Hamlet 2" was the most coveted prize at this year's Sundance Film Festival. Buyers at the fest will now be even more wary next January about shelling out for untested films… and that's bad news for all of us.

Not-so-bad was the news for Overture Films after the better than predicted performance of their Don Cheadle thriller "Traitor." Solid reviews and a last minute marketing push helped "Traitor" secure over 9 million since its Wednesday debut. I admit I was skeptical about whether audiences would accept that proverbial nice guy Cheadle as a bad-ass super-spy, but it turns out that Cheadle may have achieved that rarest of goals – in "Traitor" he somehow pulls off being super-nice and bad-ass.

While "Traitor" was not the best attended new film of the weekend, it definitely was the best. And what was the worst? That honor goes to MGM's "College," an R rated travesty that had the misfortune of casting a Disney Channel fattie alongside the teenaged nadir of nerd known as "American Idol's Kevin Covais." If anyone wonders why the film is absent from the top ten this weekend, there's your answer.

"College" opened in over 2,000 locations and still only made about 2.1 million – if my non-collegiate math skills are correct that equals less than 1,000 per screen. Compare that to Woody Allen's resurgent "Vicky Cristina Barcelona" which made over 4,000 per screen – enough to put it back in the top ten above older titles like "Star Wars: Clone Wars" and "The Mummy" (numbers 12 and 13 respectively) not to mention the brand new and already road-worn "College" at number 15.

So, while I was writing this the figures for the FOUR day weekend were released. I'd like to say I planned it that way, but the truth is I just couldn't get it together to write this up on Sunday… Sorry. Anyway, my laziness will afford you another exciting chart experience – Enjoy!

Viva Le Difference, right? I guess there really isn't a super-noticeable difference here, but lie to me and say there is anyway. I feel really bad about posting this late… tell me it was OK because you wanted to wait and see that - WOW! "Traitor" went from #5 to #3 in just one day! Or that "Mama Mia!" actually gained 34% audience share in this, its seventh week… what? You didn't want to know that? You say that the news actually made you vomit a little bit in your mouth? You and me both, baby… you and me both.