If you read Collider on any regular basis, then you know what I’m about to say is pretty rare…I don’t recommend reading the transcript below.

While the publicists reading what I just wrote are probably scratching their heads, the reason is, the words below don’t do any justice to the press conference I participated in with the stars of “My Best Friends Girl,” Dane Cook, Jason Biggs and Kate Hudson.

You see, while some press conferences are serious, and some often little in the way of quotes, some are like this one, a constant raising of the ante between everyone doing the talking.

As you’ll be able to hear by clicking here, Dane constantly says things that his publicists were shaking their heads at, and when Jason finally gets asked a question…let’s just say he jumps in head first.  And don’t think Kate Hudson wasn’t up for having fun, as she also says some funny things.

Look, if you don’t have the time to listen, I’ve posted what they said below. But I swear it doesn’t do any justice to hearing them say it.

Anyhow, I should probably mention why I got to participate in a press conference with them. They were promoting their latest movie and it’s called “My Best Friends Girl.” Here’s the synopsis:

Smart, beautiful and headstrong, Alexis (Kate Hudson) is the girl of Dustin’s (Jason Biggs) dreams. But after only five weeks of dating, the love-struck Dustin is coming on so strong that Alexis is forced to slow things down – permanently.  Devastated and desperate to get her back, Dustin turns to his best friend, Tank (Dane Cook), the rebound specialist. A master at seducing – and offending – women, Tank gets hired by freshly dumped guys to take their ex-girlfriends out on the worst date of their lives – an experience so horrible it sends them running gratefully back to their beaus.

But when Tank works his magic on Alexis, he ends up meeting the challenge of a lifetime. Alexis is the first girl who knows how to call his bluff, and Tank soon finds himself torn between his loyalty to Dustin and a strange new attraction to his best friend’s girl.

Finally, if you’d like to see some movie clips you can watch them here. “My Best Friends Girl” is now playing at theaters everywhere.

Question: Dane I love how Tank is trying to use is power for good and not evil, do you think you will see copycat Tankers after this movie comes out?

Dane Cook: I’m actually teaching a class at The Learning Annex of how to be like Tank Turner. I think it’s great that you can play a character that has a bit of silliness and tone and uses his dirty deeds for good at the end. The fact that he gets to use his dastardly deeds for good was a lot of fun to play that.

Do you think those methods would work in real life?

Dane Cook: Oh certainly. There’s definitely guys that take the aggressive approach, no filter. Use lewd and lascivious behavior and get the girl man. No one wants to feel rejected. They tend to say, “What I’m doing wrong and how am….”

Kate Hudson: You guys have no idea of what your talking about.

Dane Cook: That is also true..You can just ask her, we’re fucking idiots.

(lots of laughter)

Have you ever had any dates from hell and did you ever go to prom?

Kate: Yes! I went to lots of prom. No, I didn’t. I have had a couple pretty bad dates. One date I just left before we got any food or ordered food because the guy was so deeply boring. I just thought I’d just save all of us from this and leave.

Jason Biggs: I want to meet that guy. Don’t you? Poor guy.

Kate: I think he was in banking. I’m not kidding. It was years ago. And then prom, I went to prom. When I was in high school, we’d all go together so nobody really had real dates so a bunch of us would go in a group and that was fun. I liked our prom big time. A big orgy. Oh yeah.

Dane Cook: I just stayed home and masturbated.

You guys filmed in boston, can you tell us how that was and kate you went the patriot games?

Kate: You mean the patriots and the red sox. Loved it.

Dane Cook: Yeah. I mean it’s my home town. I grew up in Arlington, Massachusetts and started my comedy career in Boston. So in between scenes it was like cut then there were teachers and people waiting to say  hello and catch up. It was really important to come home to boston and share something I love to do with a great community of people.

Kate: I fell in love with it. I actually got to spend most my year there because I did another film in Boston. Got to know the Kraft family through Dane and they were such wonderful people. They brought me and invited me to some patriots games. I was really fun to be East Coast at that time because it was late summer into fall. It was really really nice. Great food. Good yummy pizzeria routine.

Did you know each other before? Did you just meet for the first time?

Dane Cook: In the past life. I was a pharaoh and she was one of my servants. Or the other way around. It’s a blurry image.

Were you able to improvise especially being a stand up comedian?

Dane Cook: I am around funny people all my whole life. This is one of the funniest people that I’ve met. Kate is…to say she has the funny bone. She has the terminator exoskeleton version of that. She’s so good. I’m going to blow up her spot for a second here. Tremendously gifted comedic person and going toe to toe and being able to play what’s on the page which was so solid  but when we had time to go off the chain a little bit, we were just able to lob it up for one another and knock them out of the park.

What was your first meeting like?

Dane Cook: It was at your house. (referring to Kate)

Kate: It was great. It was easy.

Director: I was at Kate’s house and there were a lot of people there. It was kind of hectic and there wasn’t help there so kate was busy making a cake. Baking a cake while auditioning. Reading with other actors.

Kate: Laughs…I did. I baked a blueberry turnover cake. It’s really good. It’s a great recipe.

Is it available online?

Kate: Soon. Soon it will be available online. But, yeah that’s…

Dane Cook: You know when you meet somebody and you’re already almost trying to create scenes together. Remember we talked about the scene in the strip club and you’re drunk and I’m trying to act all inappropriate. Almost immediately wer’re talking about ideas and playing it in a way. I knew we had an effinity for each other right away. I very fond of this lady. She’s such a darling.

Jason, did you actually shave your eyebrows? How did that whole scene happen?

Jason Biggs: The scene happened in the warped mind of the gentleman down here (Jordan).

Jordan: I’m sorry.

Jason Biggs: I was down to do it for a long time. I’ll do anything for a laugh and…

Kate: It was…Wasn’t it a matter..

Jason Biggs: This my question part of it.

(whole room begins to laugh)

Jason Biggs: So anyways. We were talking about my eyebrows. So, I was down to do. Then a few weeks leading up to it I did a little research online and there are blogs dedicated to people who accidentally or intentionally shaved an eyebrow or some other part of their body and there were horror stories. It didn’t grow back at all. It grew back somewhere else. It grew back all screwed up. It was all fucked up so I said, “Hell No!” So Howie and the other creative minds along with some great makeup artists took care of the prosthetics.

Kate: I think, my favorite was when you come to the door and the eyebrow is dripping down.

Jason Biggs: A la Marx Brothers.

Kate: A la Marx…

Jason Biggs: A la Groucho

Dane Cook: All back to another interview. I shaved my right testicle for that scene. It didn’t grow back.

Kate: Best thing I ever did!

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