Written by Nicole Pedersen

 

Now there's word that Waters will be getting back to the medium that made all the singing and dancing possible in the first place: film. His next project is a Christmas film appropriately titled "Fruitcake." Get it? It's a double entendre because John Waters is a – oh, never mind.

Johnny Knoxville will play the title character – that's right his name is Fruitcake – a 'boy' who runs away from home after he and his parents are arrested for shoplifting meat. He teams up with another runaway (Parker Posey) who was raised by two gay men but who really wants to find her birth mother – meat theft, gay marriage – throw in a little shit eating to wash it all down and I think we've got ourselves a new John Waters classic.

The rest of the plot is "under wraps" but I don't know – they had me at "shoplifting meat." And a John Water's Christmas movie? How could you not be in for that? I'm not the biggest Johnny Knoxville fan but I thought Johnny Depp was shallow too until I saw the original "Cry Baby." Even if Waters is only making movies so he can eventually turn them into musicals – who cares? It's about time he made a little money. And besides, Christmas is one holiday that could use a little more kink.

Believe that John Waters would be the creepiest mall Santa ever here.