Variety has the interesting observation that the 35th Telluride Film Festival, helding annually in Colorado each Labor day, is unusually sparse this year when it comes to good old-fashioned American films. For extremely xenophobic filmgoers like you and me, this is, of course, cause for concern.

The American films (which would, presumably, have been about apple pie and baseball) are represented only by Paul Schrader's "Adam Resurrected" and Tim Disney's "American Violet". So at least we get the word "American" in there, thank God.

As much as I'd like to blame these foreigners for stealing our creativity (and don't think I still don't have my eye on them) Variety's article seems to imply that the fault really lies to with American moviemakers in the first place; A number of major productions weren't ready in time and another of others didn't even apply. Excuses go on to include the writers strike and other production delays.

With our national pride on the line on the line, the answer seems clear: We need Michael Phelps to start making movies.

Telluride begins today and detailed information about screenings is available at www.telluridefilmfestival.com. Passes, unfortunately, are completely sold out but, if you've already made the trek to Telluride and foolishly failed to buy tickets in advance, I've got good news: There's a rodeo on Sunday. What's more American than that?