I've always said that the one thing missing from Disney's classic film, "Blank Check", about a greedy little fuck who essentially steals a million dollars by forging a blank check with the help of his trusty Macintosh computer, is that the film wasn't set during Christmas.  And when I say "I've always said," I mean it's constantly coming up in conversation.  For instance, just last week:

Me: You know what "Blank Check" was missing?  Christmas.  It should have been set during Christmas.

Former Friend: What does this have to do with me just telling you that I have cancer?!

Me: You know who didn't have cancer?  The kid from "Blank Check."  And if he did, he could have afforded chemo because he stole all of Miguel Ferrer's already stolen money.

But my prayers seem to have finally been answered.  No, not the ones about cancer, but about "Blank Check"!  The newly released trailer for "Christmas in Wonderland" shows two kids who have a satchel full of counterfeit money fall from the sky.  Instead of being honest about the money and turning it into the proper authorities, they spend it on a ton of crap, showing that they were truly raised on wholesome American values (unlike those fucking kids from "Millions" who gave it to charity; if they were American, we would have deported their benevolent asses).  But when the inept bad guys come for the money, these kids show them that nothing can defeat the power of greed combined with slapstick comedy.  With a veritable Who's Who of "Where Did I Go Wrong?" careers, including Chris Kattan, Carmen Electra, and Patrick Swayze, it looks like my 13-year wait for a worthy successor to "Blank Check" has finally arrived.